“My Dad won’t let go,” “My kid is not pushing me out,” “My father disrupts everything I’m trying to do,” “This is my auto dealership, and I make the final decisions,” “I don’t want to run things, but I do want to know what’s going on.”
Sound familiar? These are just a few examples of the many frustrated comments I’ve heard from auto dealers and their successor children, who wonder why the transition of leadership in their family business is so difficult. Why is this happening, and what can you do to make the transition smoother?
The Leadership Transition
Succession means that a transition of leadership is happening. Translated, there are now two, and sometimes three, hands on the baton you are trying to pass. If your successor has what it takes to be successful, he/she is going to be tugging on the baton, wanting Dad or Mom to let go – “it’s my turn, step aside.” Occasionally, dealers are willing to do so, as they are tired and have other things they’d like to do. But that is rare. Most of the time, the dealer still wants to stay involved at some level, and that’s usually where friction results.
It’s easy to step into the shoes of either party. Next Gen is eager, looking to make their mark, wanting to show what they can do. They are proud of their family business, proud of the legacy they are entrusted with, and want to see what they can do to grow the auto dealership. The dealer wants his/her legacy to continue through their children, but we’re talking about their ‘business baby’ they birthed and grew into the formidable company that now exists. The dealership has been their life, and for many, “Now what am I going to do – play canasta? I don’t think so!”
Give and Take
Inevitably, this causes the tug-of-war over the leadership baton. And there are so many variations to this challenge. In some situations, the successor is not ready or capable, so, quite naturally, the owner will remain engaged to ensure his financial future is secure. One auto dealer told me, “My kid doesn’t do things the way we’ve always done them, which worked really well for the past 30+ years.” Understandably, this can be frustrating for some dealers, but if your successor is achieving net profits while doing some things differently, then cheer for their success.
Often, Dad seemed to pass the baton and now appears to want it back. This can be very frustrating for the successor(s) who thought they’d been given the reins. Dad flew off to Florida and seemed to be off the radar. The successor(s) began making day-to-day decisions, building and leading their team, and developing their strategic plan. Then Dad exercised his right as the owner to come back and get involved, which is often viewed as ‘sea gull management’, namely ‘fly in poop all over everything and fly out.’ Depending on the personalities of the owner and the successor, this can result in fireworks!
I said ‘Dad appears’ to want it back, because another version of this succession transition is the owner simply wanting to feel included and appreciated. Understandably, he feels he has earned the right to give his opinion. Unfortunately, the successor often must deal with older managers who feel pulled between ‘the boss’ and ‘the kid’. It can appear to the successor like ‘Dad is undermining my leadership.’
What’s the answer? There is no magic pill, but there are ways to solve these challenges.
Keys to a Smoother Succession
It starts with RELATIONSHIPS. If you’re relating to one of the many succession transition challenges I’ve described, you’re likely feeling a bit disconnected from your parent or child. Start with some basics – are you spending time together? What could be more important? Schedule a weekly breakfast or lunch with your successor. It’s amazing how often I ask whether this is happening and get all kinds of excuses for why it isn’t. If it’s important, it’s on your schedule!
EXPECTATIONS – I guarantee you are operating with unreasonable expectations of each other. My partners and I at The Rawls Group strongly believe in our process for developing written expectations, which we call Operating Covenants. Working in concert with the dealer and successor(s), we develop and confirm what is reasonable and unreasonable to expect of each other. Finally, once we agree on the reasonable expectations, we are willing to commit to, they are written down and used as a measuring stick for ‘how we are doing.’ Giving each other the benefit of the doubt when we make mistakes or fall back into old, destructive habits helps build trust. We have now established how we want this transition to work and are committed to making it work. In most situations, you will need some outside help, as we are prone to having our worst behavior demonstrated when dealing with our family.
Transitioning leadership is the cornerstone of succession. For most, it takes work, committing time to work through our generational differences, making the effort to understand where your parent or child is coming from and why they react strongly to what you say and do. It took a massive amount of energy and commitment to build your auto dealership. Passing the baton will be challenging, but your family legacy is priceless.
Related Stories: