By Kendall Rawls, Director of Development, The Rawls Group
It is that time of year again, the holidays are upon us. To be fair, if we are paying attention to any of the retail outlets, the holidays have been here since October! The holidays exude feelings of family and togetherness. For many of us, we look forward to the family coming together and enjoying fellowship, sharing the goings-on in our lives, bragging and complaining about work, and everything that goes along with coming together.
Fellowship and togetherness are not always something we all look forward to when in the family business. One of the biggest reasons falls on the fact that those in business together tend to have a hard time leaving business at work when spending time together at home. Immediate families are not immune. Relationships you have with those in your formal and informal family who are involved in the business also apply.
What we have found is that the conflicting cultures of family and business affect the overall harmony and unity of home and work. In addition, productivity, morale, and business culture suffer. Although we are not able to solve any of the potential conflicts that will come up this holiday season, we can provide some guidance for how to prepare you for the next family gathering.
It all starts with communication. All successful relationships are built on the foundation of strong communication – it is the glue that holds it all together. When communication starts to breakdown, or perhaps you are not sure if it already has, there are two key indicators:
1. Avoiding Conflict – family, friends, employees, whoever it is, if there is an avoidance of dealing with anything related to conflict, or withdrawing completely, finding resolution between the parties becomes time-consuming and difficult. Ways to tell if this is happening are simple. Look for rolling of the eyes, turning of the head, lack of eye contact, and people leaving the room mid-conversation.
2. Engaging in Conflict – yes you read that right. There are times, and I am sure you have experienced them where the conversation or situation has flown well past the avoidance stage. Engaging directly in conflict often looks like an argument or heated disagreement. When family is involved with work this often takes place in the presence of non-family employees – further deteriorating the overall morale of the workplace. To spot this stage you will see raised voices, yelling, maybe throwing items, physical interactions, and even abuse.
When family and business get to this point, we create a culture of misinterpretation. We move from working towards a common work or family goal into making judgments based on self-interest. We tend to forget that there is more than one person engaged in the conversation in which all are wanting what is best for both the family and business.
The good news is that conflict management can be learned. Just like any other skill to develop, you can seek out help for you and those with whom the conflict is taking place. Overcoming conflict, especially in communications, does not come easy, however with the right help and the work, you can not only overcome it but also prevent it in the future.
Conflict is one of the most common areas of family and business breakdown, and it is one of the easiest areas to overcome. Working with family-owned dealers through these steps has fostered better relationships, stronger understanding, and an authentic willingness to come to a common ground – and know when and how to engage or not in certain conversations. For example, talking about a negative situation taking place at work is probably not prudent when passing the serving dishes around the table this family holiday.
Working to build on the foundation of family and business harmony, there are also “expectation landmines” to avoid. Now that you know the conflict can be overcome, addressing potential unknown or false expectations might be a strong next set of bricks to the foundation:
- Working in the business – dealers are guilty of having good intentions in the business, but with that comes the creation of setting unknown expectations. Have you conveyed to those who have expressed interest in the business, or those in your family unit who you would like to be involved in the business your expectations? If so, is it clear what is expected of them, and do they know their role in the organization?
- Receiving rewards from the business – the car business, like other family-owned businesses, relies on the business to pay or subsidize some of the family perks. For example, with dealers we see, cars, gas, group medical, salaries higher than others in the business, etc. This is traditionally done to benefit family, directly and indirectly, involved in the business and goes on for a timeframe without any problems. If the family member is not directly involved in the business as this is taking place and then they come into the workplace picture, they are not on the same playing field in terms of expectations for work versus reward. Likewise, if there are family members receiving these types of benefits who do not work in the dealership, an imbalance is created between those working versus those who are not.
If family harmony and business success are your objectives, then it is critical that you honestly evaluate where you stand in terms of the expectations of family members. Expectations are extremely important and must get clearly stated and defined. If you’re unsure where to start, consider going through a planning checklist. Have an advisor help you eliminate any potential landmines, and once you know where you stand on the important issues, clear communications can follow, ensuring the right messages are delivered to everyone regarding what they can expect for the future of the business and each family member.
About the Author
Kendall Rawls knows and understands the challenges that impact the success of an entrepreneurial owned business. Her unique perspective comes not only from her educational background; but, more importantly, from her experience as a second-generation family member employee of The Rawls Group – Business Succession Planners. For more information, visit www.rawlsgroup.com or email [email protected].